Allow me to explain myself…however, there really is no excuse.

I would like to explain…but I find it difficult.
Who is Sara? Um…she’s…still figuring it out??

I often wonder about…well…about everything.  I am the kid in class who always asks questions.  My thirst for knowledge is insatiable. Bookstores and my bank account don’t get along too well and because of this I have recently been avoiding them.  I can’t walk into a bookstore without buying several books.  It’s nearly impossible.  They are my drug and I simply can’t resist.

That is not what this post is supposed to be about…moving right along.  When I have alone time, which seems to be a lot, my mind wanders off in seventeen different directions and I often burst out in paroxysms of laughter – generally in a public place.  It’s okay though, I stopped being embarrassed years ago.  When you grow up tripping, falling, and bursting out into laughter your whole life you kind of get used to people giving you odd looks.  I don’t even notice it anymore, though if I am with someone they will point it out to me, which only makes it even more amusing to me.  Seriously, I find life way too amusing at times.

I was going over all the odd things I think about and thought it might allow one or two people to laugh today.  It will also probably allow people a little more insight into who I am.  And how crazy I am.  Or dense…I’m not quite sure which.

  1. I wonder if fans ever turn the opposite direction of how they are set just for shits and giggles.  They probably make bets with the other light fixtures on how long it will take the humans to notice.  (I was cold and staring at the fan, wishing I could use my super mind powers to turn it off.  It didn’t work for some reason…)
  2. I wonder if Barbie ever gets upset that she can’t give Ken a blow job.  (This one came out of nowhere.)
  3. Do you think our brains could exist outside our bodies?  I mean, without them we would be dead, so would it be possible to keep them alive outside a body and connect them to something else?  Are they trying this?  How creepy would that be?  Maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that one.
  4. Do you think pictures can see us?  Do you ever wonder if the person you are stalking on facebook can see you through the screen?  This often keeps me from looking at other people’s pictures – cause it kind of creeps me out.  (I blame Harry Potter for this one)
  5. I believe that inanimate objects have feelings.  I often speak to them, and then make up a reply either in my head or out loud.  So I wondered, do they watch us?  When I’m alone at home I always try to act like someone is watching me so I don’t do anything too embarrassing.  Although, this is me we are talking about, it takes a lot to embarrass me.  I had an ex who knew this and would try to do things to embarrass me in public and I would always remind him, “you aren’t embarrassing me, you are embarrassing yourself.  I’m just an innocent bystander.  They probably feel sorry for me.”  This didn’t deter him in any way – our day at the zoo was quite amusing.
  6. I love cars.  Too much I think.  I have started making comments such as, “that’s got a nice ass.”  Or, “those are really sexy headlights.”  Or, simply “mmm.”  I really should keep this to myself, because even my friends don’t understand this one.  They simply shake their heads.  “Are you getting hot over a car?”  No…yes.  Why?
  7. Does everyone feel pain the same way?  Does something that hurts me feel good to someone else?  I wonder this because I have a rather high threshold for pain and sometimes I think pain feels good.  Seriously.  I like it.  So is it pain?  I suppose not.  But other people can take a shot and not care, I on the other hand have panic attacks just thinking about getting a shot.  One time I had to have stitches and that kind of freaked me out until I found out they also had to take blood.  Dear sweet Lord, kill me now.  I started sweating and panicking and and I almost hyperventilated.  It isn’t pretty.  (And just to clear it up, in case you have read my other blogs and know I have tattoos…tattoo guns have more than one needle, and they don’t go all the way through the skin.  One tiny little needle freaks me the fuck out.  Please stab me with a giant knife but for the love of all that is good do NOT give me a shot!)
  8. Does everybody see color the same way?  Is blue to me orange to you?  And how would we know if we saw colors differently?
  9. Does this world really exist?  Or is this an elaborate dream someone is having (possibly me)?
  10. Sometimes I think I am invincible.  My doctor told me I have the densest bones he has ever seen and some of the stuff I have done to my body should have resulted in injury.  I get so set on this thought that I often contemplate incredibly dangerous things.  Enter standing on the edge of a balcony/being on the edge of jumping in front of a bus.  That little voice usually stops me right before I do something stupid, “what if you AREN’T invincible, dumbass.  Do you really want to put your family and friends through that?”  Inner Sara is so much wiser.

This list goes on and on.  Sometimes I love how odd I am.  Other times I think maybe I should tone it down.  I dunno, you tell me.

On most days though, I don’t care what other people think of me.  I worried too much what other people thought when I was younger (which really only stopped about two years ago…) but now I realize that I am awesomely unique.  I have a different perspective on most things in life and I kind of love it.  I kind of love me.  But don’t make me admit it out loud, okay?  I’m terrible at giving myself compliments – and even worse at taking them from others.  Let’s just add that to the list of things I need to work on.  That one is getting incredibly long…


About izinspiredtowrite

I daydream constantly. I read everything. I fall upstairs. I trip on flat surfaces. I ask lots of questions. I believe in something great. I love. I live. I am.

Posted on August 24, 2012, in Random, Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. I asked myself the same question you brought up as #8. And on top of that, I wondered if everyone saw everything the same.

    • Well that is one I never thought of! Fabulous question though! And one we will never really know…but I bet we don’t. We all have different ideas/views about things so I bet we do see things differently, at least to some degree.

  2. Only now I get the chance to read this. I’m glad to realize I’m not the only person that goes “mmmm” when I see a car (Lamborghinis and camaros). I really dislike needles, especially when they are sticked on my veins… AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHH, I freak out just to think about it. Trust me, this world is not a dream,if it was there would be some unnecessary nudity moments in public areas and creepy monsters chasing us.

    I’m pretty sure the lack of dick lead Barbie to ask for a divorce (we can’t self explore all the time, hehe). You stalk people on facebook? Thank God I didn’t use my real pic on my blog. I can’t wait to be a brain outside my body… I’ll pick a super cyborg body, terminator style (just ripped, not beefed up… I need flexibility for… stuff) or maybe a space probe (going where no man has gone before). Depending on the meds you are in collors can taste differently.

    P.S.: do you think I spend too much time in your blog? I read a lot of blogs, but I like commenting on yours for some reason. Maybe it’s because I found someone as crazy as me, but with a nice gracious personality 🙂

    • I don’t know…the world could be a dream. I have my own monsters, not big scary creatures but other things.

      Everybody facebook stalks…it isn’t on purpose sometimes I just find myself looking at my friends pictures and then kind of snap out of it and realize what I am doing. I avoid it at all costs now.

      And I was more referring to the lack of knee bend…neither are anatomically correct so her divorcing him over that would be pretty hypocritical.

      P.S.: I have no idea. I don’t actually know the amount of time you spend on my blog lol

      • By the way, you probably implanted some subliminal sugestion on my brain. A number of years ago I wrote an academic article about cyber crimes and identity theft, but while reviewing it I decided to delete it, because most of it was a “how to stalk people on-line and take their personal data”. Today I was checking my facebook and some how I find myself searching and finding you… sorry, didn’t mean to. I’m pretty sure you should be able to do the same with little info I placed on my posts and twitter.

        I hope you are luckier dealing with your monsters. They have a tendency to be persistent, but defying them is worth it.

        Knee bend? Trust me, if people with serious disabilities can do it, lack of knee bend and disproportionality won’t stop anyone from figuring out a way… the lack of proper gear on the other hand…

        P.S.: I said that because I read blogs in minutes and post a comment in even less. After I found your blog I spent half hour reading and enjoying every word. And I spend even more time writing a comment. Your are intriguing.

      • I would like to point out that my friends have difficulty finding me on Facebook, I usually have to find them and friend them…how did you manage?

        And I maintain that this could all be a dream. YOU NEVER KNOW!!!

        P.S.: Thank you, I suppose. I hope people will find my books equally intriguing.

  3. Find you was pretty easy… 5 minutes looking into profile pictures and reading descriptions… the little info you provided helped. I won’t give details, I don’t want creeps stalking you.

    Okay… if this is a dream, how come my car can’t fly and has no missiles (and doesn’t talk to me with Patrick Stewart’s voice).

    P.S.: You are indeed intriguing. If you put the same degree of emotion in your books as you do in your blog posts, people will love them and you. Also, I find you intriguing because I’m usually quiet and reserved, not taking much interest in people outside my friendship circle (it takes me forever to like and trust someone). Not many people get my interest and you are the most interesting I’ve seen in a long time 🙂

    • Because it isn’t YOUR dream. It is someone else’s. I never said we were living in our own dreams, what if this is all someone else’s dream or day dream or idea or story. I’m not saying that is what I truly think, I’m just saying that it is an interesting way of looking at life. I don’t like to take things for face value, I like to think outside the box as much as possible.

      • Oh… Okay, if this is not my dream or your dream, what kind of and who’s metaphysical extistence is this? Why do you make me feel like Will Ferrel. But the way you put its like we have no control of our lives… maybe not the stuff that happens to us, but how we live, our personal choices should be something we make.

        Crap, I hope this is not a Stephen King story, too many twists before things get better.

      • Good. Lord. Dude. I just wonder sometimes. Those times when I’m thinking about free will because I’m being all philosophical…you know what I mean. Those “what if” moments when you have nothing better to do but question life. I don’t actually think we are living in someone’s dream, I just think it is an interesting possibility. Kind of like, the whole fan thing. I know it doesn’t actually happen, but sometimes I like to pretend it does…cause it makes life more interesting to believe things that aren’t.

  4. You kind of placed me back in my early years in law school. I used to rethink every single thing I did. I always wondered if all the shit that happened up untill that point had a reason. Do I shape myself based on what happened or do I make a choice contrary to the situation. You know those times you wonder if it’s you deciding or the moment doing it for you. I knew what you meant about living someone else’s dream, its just sometimes some things hit me and I try to dodge it off with my strange sense of humor. I kind of like talking about these life things with someone… I just never had the chance to. I like how life offers little things that keep us interest on living, like accidently clicking a tiny picture and see it full size a cute dorky girl in it.

    P.S.: I forgot to mention, don’t worry about me finding your facebook. I have no interest in stalking you (even though you are really cool). I barelly check my friends updates there. You could try to find me if you want.

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