Allow me to explain myself…however, there really is no excuse.
I often wonder about…well…about everything. I am the kid in class who always asks questions. My thirst for knowledge is insatiable. Bookstores and my bank account don’t get along too well and because of this I have recently been avoiding them. I can’t walk into a bookstore without buying several books. It’s nearly impossible. They are my drug and I simply can’t resist.
That is not what this post is supposed to be about…moving right along. When I have alone time, which seems to be a lot, my mind wanders off in seventeen different directions and I often burst out in paroxysms of laughter – generally in a public place. It’s okay though, I stopped being embarrassed years ago. When you grow up tripping, falling, and bursting out into laughter your whole life you kind of get used to people giving you odd looks. I don’t even notice it anymore, though if I am with someone they will point it out to me, which only makes it even more amusing to me. Seriously, I find life way too amusing at times.
I was going over all the odd things I think about and thought it might allow one or two people to laugh today. It will also probably allow people a little more insight into who I am. And how crazy I am. Or dense…I’m not quite sure which.
- I wonder if fans ever turn the opposite direction of how they are set just for shits and giggles. They probably make bets with the other light fixtures on how long it will take the humans to notice. (I was cold and staring at the fan, wishing I could use my super mind powers to turn it off. It didn’t work for some reason…)
- I wonder if Barbie ever gets upset that she can’t give Ken a blow job. (This one came out of nowhere.)
- Do you think our brains could exist outside our bodies? I mean, without them we would be dead, so would it be possible to keep them alive outside a body and connect them to something else? Are they trying this? How creepy would that be? Maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that one.
- Do you think pictures can see us? Do you ever wonder if the person you are stalking on facebook can see you through the screen? This often keeps me from looking at other people’s pictures – cause it kind of creeps me out. (I blame Harry Potter for this one)
- I believe that inanimate objects have feelings. I often speak to them, and then make up a reply either in my head or out loud. So I wondered, do they watch us? When I’m alone at home I always try to act like someone is watching me so I don’t do anything too embarrassing. Although, this is me we are talking about, it takes a lot to embarrass me. I had an ex who knew this and would try to do things to embarrass me in public and I would always remind him, “you aren’t embarrassing me, you are embarrassing yourself. I’m just an innocent bystander. They probably feel sorry for me.” This didn’t deter him in any way – our day at the zoo was quite amusing.
- I love cars. Too much I think. I have started making comments such as, “that’s got a nice ass.” Or, “those are really sexy headlights.” Or, simply “mmm.” I really should keep this to myself, because even my friends don’t understand this one. They simply shake their heads. “Are you getting hot over a car?” No…yes. Why?
- Does everyone feel pain the same way? Does something that hurts me feel good to someone else? I wonder this because I have a rather high threshold for pain and sometimes I think pain feels good. Seriously. I like it. So is it pain? I suppose not. But other people can take a shot and not care, I on the other hand have panic attacks just thinking about getting a shot. One time I had to have stitches and that kind of freaked me out until I found out they also had to take blood. Dear sweet Lord, kill me now. I started sweating and panicking and and I almost hyperventilated. It isn’t pretty. (And just to clear it up, in case you have read my other blogs and know I have tattoos…tattoo guns have more than one needle, and they don’t go all the way through the skin. One tiny little needle freaks me the fuck out. Please stab me with a giant knife but for the love of all that is good do NOT give me a shot!)
- Does everybody see color the same way? Is blue to me orange to you? And how would we know if we saw colors differently?
- Does this world really exist? Or is this an elaborate dream someone is having (possibly me)?
- Sometimes I think I am invincible. My doctor told me I have the densest bones he has ever seen and some of the stuff I have done to my body should have resulted in injury. I get so set on this thought that I often contemplate incredibly dangerous things. Enter standing on the edge of a balcony/being on the edge of jumping in front of a bus. That little voice usually stops me right before I do something stupid, “what if you AREN’T invincible, dumbass. Do you really want to put your family and friends through that?” Inner Sara is so much wiser.
This list goes on and on. Sometimes I love how odd I am. Other times I think maybe I should tone it down. I dunno, you tell me.
On most days though, I don’t care what other people think of me. I worried too much what other people thought when I was younger (which really only stopped about two years ago…) but now I realize that I am awesomely unique. I have a different perspective on most things in life and I kind of love it. I kind of love me. But don’t make me admit it out loud, okay? I’m terrible at giving myself compliments – and even worse at taking them from others. Let’s just add that to the list of things I need to work on. That one is getting incredibly long…