Seven different kinds of crazy, wrapped up in awesome

Apparently you are supposed to be able to look inside yourself and see the true you.  Clearly I have some things to learn.  Because when I look inside myself all I see is crazy.  And awesome.  But I can’t explain why – I just know I am.

I have realized recently that the only time I feel truly myself and at peace is when I am driving, listening to music.  And the more I do it, the more I realize that it is true.  I somehow have a very deep connection to the road.  Or maybe it is to the sense of getting away, of not being tied to anything.  Just me, the road, my music, and a map.  Which only adds to my confusion.  Why does that feel the most me?  Aren’t I supposed to be making my life here and settling down?  Isn’t that what I wanted?  Who.  Freaking.  Knows.  Oh wait…I’m supposed to know.

Some times I want to sell all of my possessions and just take my car and drive until I decide to stop just to see where I would wind up.

Maybe some day I will.  Honestly, at this moment in time, it sounds like the most sane thing to do.

Oh, and I am supposed to focus on the positive thing so here goes:

1.  I may be part of a paid runway tour for a designer next summer.

2.  I have a great job.

3.  I have wonderful family and friends.

4.  Today my bosses bought me cookies (cookies are ALWAYS a positive thing)

5.  The weather is beautiful.

This is a short list, but they are important things, people.  Don’t underestimate the power of a giant chocolate chip cookie and some sunshine.

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About izinspiredtowrite

I daydream constantly. I read everything. I fall upstairs. I trip on flat surfaces. I ask lots of questions. I believe in something great. I love. I live. I am.

Posted on September 19, 2012, in Confused, hope, Life, Observations, Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. dont waste your time trying to figure it out…..its wasted energy….instead…as you said in your about…just love…just live…and most importantly…just be….good luck to you

    • I try not to, but sometimes my mind just focuses on it and I have to shake it out of my head. I know it is pointless but I spent so much of my life worrying rather than living that it has become second nature, and something I have to work on every day.

      Thanks for the luck, I may need it!

      • have you ever wondered about the term second nature? The beauty of this term is that if this is second nature…well…there must be a first nature….right? This gives hope to those plagued by this second nature of theirs….for there is more beyond that second nature…which is the first nature…the true nature….anything beyond is just noise…just a game we play with ourselves to differentiate from others… if you get a sec…take a visit to my blog… mindofmatter.com …..if nothing else….just to add some noise to that second nature of yours….or even better inhibit some of the noise…

      • I have, yes. I think deeply about a lot of stuff. I am surprisingly philosophical sometimes, though you seem to put it into words better. I will wander over to your blog 🙂

  2. Welcome to crazy club…

    Strange as it is, cars have that effect on us. Driving is relaxing when some jackass is not trying to kill you by invading your lane. Behind the wheel there is a feeling of freedom and a near outside body experience to look at ourselves and judge the way we are. Although, this one time it was a Ozzy Osbourne hallucination on the passenger seat judging the way I live my life (crazy story). Those things you’ll only find out when time comes and you are presented with the choices.

    Congrats on possibly being on a paid runway tour next summer. My bosses back at the law school office never brought us treats, only paper, documents and more bureaucracy 😦

    Add those to make your day brighter:
    6. Gathering cash for a new Xbox360 for CoD Black Ops 2 (I recomend Borderlands 2 though)
    7. Getting dorkier while working.

    And one more thing to make you laugh a bit: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox

    Cheers lass

    • There is only one thing I care to address at this moment:

      BORDERLANDS IS MY FAVORITE!

      When I saw the commercial for Borderlands 2 I had a geekgasm.

      It is officially my motivation for getting an XBOX.

      • Alright!!! That is what I like to hear. I’m downloading the game right now (third world web is too slow) and I’ll be “joy puking my face off” this weekend. I’ve been waiting for the sequel since a year and a half. The screens and trailer made my knees tremble. My brain is in overdrive waiting for this. Good luck reaching your goals… after all you been through, you trully deserve 🙂

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