Category Archives: Observations

On officially being closer to 30 than I am to 20 and other fun things brought to you from Saraville


On the day of that marked the 26 anniversary of my birth, I sat in my leopard hoodie footie and spent the day listening to the rain, reading, making pizza, eating cupcakes, and feeling no closer to being an adult that I did on the day I turned 18.   Earlier in the week my friends asked how I would be celebrating I would simply laugh, and smile.  Nothing.  I would be doing nothing for my birthday.  “But why?!?” They chorused loudly, unable to understand my protestations of small fetes or intimate dinners.  The truth is, that for the first time, I just didn’t feel like admitting that I was another year older.  So what did I end up doing?  Shopping with my sister and pizza making with my family.  And you know what?  It has been a pretty darn great birthday.  I got three new pairs of shoes, several comic books, a book on etymology, two linguistic books (my latest and greatest interest), a very large novel, and a visit to Build-A-Bear that enabled me to add one more My Little Pony to my collection.  I may now be 26 but my taste still lies with that of an 8 year old – that now makes three My Little Ponies (in stuffed animal form, at least) and god knows how many comic books.

My birthday gifts to me!

       My birthday gifts to me!

Admitting my age is not fun anymore but I must admit that the year leading up to this birthday has been filled with purpose and drive.  No longer do I sit around wondering what  I will do with my life, instead I have been taking steps towards fulfilling my life goals and actually crossing items off that nice long task list I have.  It only took me eight long years to come up with my life goals and, honestly, they have changed one or two thousand times but I finally think I have landed on some solid goals that actually go along with everything that I stand for and want to accomplish.  My first major step towards achieving these goals was deciding on a major and enrolling in school again.  Check and check.  I will officially be starting school again on the 25th with a major in Green Interior and Architectural Design and will be talking to a different school about enrolling in a program that will allow me to study business with an emphasis in innovation and entrepreneurial studies.  Focusing on just one thing is just not my style…I thought about only one major but that lasted about as long as it took for me to register for classes.

In my productive state of school applying and class registering I decided I should add even more fun learning activities to my life because surely I had time to, say, learn a new language!  But where would I find this time?  I asked myself after a few days of NOT doing anything nearly as productive as I had so made myself believe I was capable of.  Where did the time go?  What did I spend my days doing?  How do people get so much done?!?  I decided it was time to take account of what I did during my days and document exactly what consumed my oh-so-precious time. Facebook.  That’s what.  Do you ever make not of how many times a day you check your Facebook?  Or how many times you want to just look it at it for a few minutes because your phone has alerted you to some form of activity on your page and 20 minutes later you realize that it’s, well, 20 minutes later and you are now far too informed on your friends lives inner workings.  What’s a girl to do?  My initial idea was to deactivate my Facebook altogether because who needs it?!? Not me!  Or so I thought.  Apparently my friends and, more importantly, my sister, disagree.  What’s the next best thing?  Removing the app from my phone.  Have I done this yet? No. Instead I have switched from checking Facebook when I’m bored to checking my email and actually reading the information contained in the numerous newsletters I convinced myself contained information I would be interested in but never actually took the time to peruse.  Guess what?  I am interested in the information I have been ignoring for all these years.  For a person so thirsty for knowledge I sure have been allowing myself to claim ignorance far longer than I anyone should.  FOCUS, Sara, focus!!  This has become my new mantra, especially while at work.  Why? 

It’s simple, really.  To continue my quest for productivity (kind of) I give you…My Current Obsessions!!! They are as follows:

Erin Condren logo1) Erin Condren – I had been wanting a planner for awhile feeling that if I was able to write down everything that came to mind as it came to mind that I would be much more productive (I’m sorry, this post has a key term).  I have had my Erin Condren Life Planner for a week and I have already seen a difference.  I know what you’re probably thinking, “don’t you have a phone?”  Yes, yes I do have a phone.  And I have often written down random ideas and made many a list.  But guess what…there it stays. In my note app.  Sitting in wait.  Instead I bought THIS beauty and now get to be inspired each and every day by bright, happy colors and inspirational quotes.  And what girl doesn’t love that?!?

2) Radio Lingua – After thinking I could use the all knowing Google to find a language program based solely in audio lessons I gave up and decided I would take a different approach.  Enter – PODCASTS!!!! I have never listened to a podcast in my life so I wasn’t really sure if this would be my pot of gold or not.  Turns out it was.  The first language program I came across was Coffee Break French. Had coffee not been in the name I probably wouldn’t have been interested.  The best part?  You can buy the lessons and get pdf files and videos that correspond with each podcast.  All for much, much, cheaper than that certain uber popular yellow boxed language program.  They also have OneMinute [insert your desired language here] and it only cost…like…practically nothing!! OMG, I want. My two favorite language options? Flemish and Luxembourgish!!!! That is in addition to my top two desired languages to learn – Arabic and Russian.  You can buy all 21 language courses as a bundle. HAPPENING!!

pee-poo-duo-ihop3) Pee and Poo – If you know me really too incredibly well then you know how oddly fascinated I am with…how do I put this delicately?  The inner workings of the human body including the all important BM’s.  I am oddly connected with my body and always know what I need to put in it to cure whatever ails me at the moment.  Except ennui.  Nothing seems to help ennui.  Except chocolate.  But only until it’s gone.  Anyway.  I found Pee and Poo and have wanted them ever since!! How cute are they?!? I mean, I’m already potty trained so I don’t need them for their intended purpose, but I do still enjoy a good stuffed animal and to be completely honest I would love to be able to randomly yell, “I need my poo!!” in a moment of anxiety induced panic that results in an immediate desire to be embracing something plush and comforting.

4) The perfect chocolate chip cookie – I have been on the search for the perfect recipe and therefore cookie for years now.  Recently I tried the recipe from the Cooks Country baking cookbook and they sucked (just an fyi here, the link doesn’t really work since you have to sign up to use their website, but if you happen to be a Cooks Country member then you will be privy to the recipe).  They were not ooey gooey like they were supposed to be and they tasted of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  My parents thought they were just fine, but my sister and I are harsher critics. I am thinking of trying the New York Times recipe next.  If anyone has suggestions, please feel free to bombard me with recipe links.

5) Naked Truth Beauty Blog – I have always enjoyed making things on my own.  I hate the idea of spending money on something I could do or make myself and it just so happens that someone I went to college with started this wonderful blog.  Now, instead of scouring the internet looking for the best home made beauty products, I can just reference what she has written!! It is so much nicer when you (kind of) know the person writing the blog.  It’s so much easier to trust them!!

Tune in next time to find out what else has been occupying my time and, probably, learn how my first week back in class has been! You’re hooked already, aren’t you?


Love is…falling down but knowing you will get back up.


When you fall down you never wonder about whether or not you will be able to get up, you just do it.  You pop back up and move on.  Maybe you have a few bumps and bruises but you are usually fine.  Personally, I love falling.  Falling down.  Falling in love.  Falling apart.  Falling behind.  Falling for a joke.  Unfortunately not all falling is as easy to recover from as falling down even though it is really the same basic concept.

Falling in love is especially difficult to recover from once you hit the ground.  You know you will be able to get up but you just aren’t sure how and it seems like an especially impossible feat when face meets asphalt after your first love disappears into the horizon and you are left there wondering how exactly the sun is now smirking at you from such an odd angle.  Soon you realize that the heat in your flushed cheeks is not, in fact, from this asphalt ground you picture yourself lying on; instead it is a mixture of anger, sadness, depression, confusion, desperation, anxiety, pain, agony, and a whole hodgepodge of unidentifiable emotions screaming through your head in delirium.  It’s an improbably painful fever broken only by the seemingly unattainable sanity of reality.  A reality that can only be seen through the eyes of a person whose entire being isn’t overwhelmed with daggers of pain and whose heart isn’t decorated with gaping holes where someone else used to live so comfortably.

Somehow though, after living in your own comfortable bubble of darkness for days, weeks, or months, someone finally penetrates the bubble and starts to let light back in.  Lends you a hand you are finally willing to accept and hold on to for dear life as you start your slow return from the supine position you had previously believed you would assume for the rest of your unlovable existence.  Because at some point you realize that you have been festering – dwelling on the same hurt and pain, regurgitating the same false beliefs that your irrational brain has set to repeat, playing them over and over until you are so brainwashed and numb that you begin to believe up is down and left is right.  As an aside, it was around this time that I decided that I would repeat this gem to myself: left is always right, except of course when it’s wrong.  I figured if my brain was going to fuck up my thinking I might as well try to fuck up my whole world while I was at it…except now it’s kind of my motto since it basically makes no sense to anybody who isn’t as psychotic as me.

Once you start to get your thoughts and feelings sorted back out and stop letting the irrational beat out the rational things begin to look up again, albeit very slowly.  Positivity is easy to put out into the world but it is quite another thing to be on the receiving end of.  Accepting the bright side after falling down into a deep abyss of loneliness and pain is almost an affront.  How dare people think we should be happy again after such debilitating pain!  Fuckers.  But, as we all know, just like falling down, we must get back up.  We must continue onward.  And this is why I love falling, because each time you do it, getting back up becomes easier.  Figuring out how to stand on your own again begins to become second nature.  You start to believe that not only will you be okay, but you will love again.  You will.  Because love is out there.  It’s in you.  It’s everywhere.  You just have to find it.


I could love anyone. Love is easy. You can find something to love inside everyone and I think everybody deserves to be loved.  However, just because I could love anybody doesn’t mean I should.  As seen in my fail date posts 1 and 2 (3 and 4 are currently in draft form) I’m not always the best at picking people with which I am compatible.  I am rather terrible at it, to be truthful.  When I am proactive about dating I always go for the wrong people because I want to give everybody a chance but when I am not really trying I can find someone perfect for me…perfect for me but at the most incredibly wrong time.  A dilemma I am fairly certain we have all come face to face with on more than one occasion.  For the longest time I told myself that this was a sign proving to me that I would be alone forever, but now I am convinced that it means at one point I will meet the right guy at the right time and everything will work out.  Until then I will remain firm in my faith and my hope because I have learned that when I lose both of those I go back to my old ways of going after the person that I know will hurt me most.

Going back to someone who hurts us is a common denominator among all human beings who have experienced love.  I think the reason we do it is because we like the pain.  We think the pain is part of the love.  We believe that love, without pain, is no love at all!  We have to take the good with the bad, right?  Wrong.  True, there will always be difficult times but I can tell you now that they will never be as difficult as whatever that person continues to put you through.  Just because you love them doesn’t mean they hold the same caliber of affection for you.  Learning that you deserve better and then forcing yourself to let go of the bad and go for what you deserve is probably more difficult than getting off that ground once you have fallen.  I still have trouble believing that I deserve anything.  I fall into the trap of thinking that nobody will want me around for very long because I’m not pretty enough or smart enough or skinny enough or rich enough or kind enough or stable enough.  I have flaws and therefore nobody will love me – that is a thought that likes to resurface quite often and pushing it back down is not as easy as I thought it would be.  But I am trying.  Every day.  Because I have hope that at some point I will find someone who really sees me and realizes that they can never let me go.  When I really see who a person is that’s how I feel, but I usually have to settle for just being friends but at least I get to keep them in my life.


So always remember that when you fall, you can get back up.  You will know when you meet the right person because you will see them and they will see you inside and out. They will know you and you will know them and together you will make sense.  And this person?  This person will be right beside you every time you fall, catching you before you can hit the ground.


P.S. As always I feel the need to sign off in a very me kind of way so…

May your week be filled with random glitter bombs thrown at coworkers, may your mornings be spiked with coffee and rock and roll, and may your Friday begin and end with a break-for-dance moment.

Because life happens every day, even if you don’t want it to.


I made a video blog awhile ago that I never posted because the sound wasn’t matching up with the video and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it so I’m going to try again, with the written word. I feel like this needs to be said because most of my close friends are going through difficult times and I have dried up my emotional resources. I have been crying at work every day because nothing I do it say helps them and a little voice at the back of my head is, once again, trying to tell me that I’m not good enough, that I’m worthless, that I don’t matter. But none of those things ate true. I know that now and I refuse to let those thoughts win.

be happy

I am enough. I matter. We all are and we all do. So this is for my friends. And this is for everyone out there who may feel lost or hurt or sad. You aren’t alone. I’m here.

This whole train of thought started with the stars. Do you ever look at them? Really look at them? They connect us in a way that we can’t even imagine. They are the same stars that your grandparents looked at and the same ones your grandchildren will look at and the same ones someone on the other side if the world sees. They are the past, present, and future. And what’s even cooler is that by the time their light reaches us they are usually already dead, so its like we are looking into the past while seeing the future. And we are all a part of them. The cosmic dust that falls to earth becomes a part of us is some small way.

past, present, future

We are all the same in that we are different.  We get to made decisions and think and feel and form our own opinions and love and even hate if we want to.  We are all beautiful creatures and…we all hate each other.  We do.  We hate the very thing that brings us together.  Just because someone has a certain political view or believes in a different religion or has more money than you or less money than you or lives on the wrong side of town or…anything.  We find all these different things to dislike about each other instead of seeing how beautiful it is that we can each be completely different from each other.  We are unique.  Each and every one of us.  We are ourselves, and we can’t be anything else.  So we judge.  And we find something in others that we don’t like.  And we dwell.  But life is beautiful and amazing, just like us.  But we don’t even like ourselves; we project our dislike onto others because, well, because we’re human.  We are told that we aren’t good enough, or that different is bad.  But guess what?  It isn’t.  Different is beautiful.  We all have flaws.  We all fall in love with the wrong person.  Few of us are content with where we are in life.  There is always something lacking in our lives.  And that’s okay.  But I think, what isn’t okay, is to hold onto all these insecurities and “downfalls” and allow them to fester.

let go

I used to be so depressed I went to bed every night hoping I wouldn’t wake up and not just because I didn’t like my life or myself, but also because I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that nobody else in the world seemed to either.  There is death and destruction everywhere.  We start wars based on beliefs someone else has.  Shakespeare said, “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”  And I think that is true.  I won’t say that war is good, that is definitely false, but it was thinking that lead someone to think that a war was needed.  Shit just is.  Someone is going to believe differently from you but that isn’t a bad thing until you think it is.  Now, it took me years to get to the point I finally reached a little over a month ago, but now that I’m here life is fucking fantastic.  But that quote helped.  Every thought I had put me where I was.  I held on to every damn thing and turned it into a negative and I will be the first to admit that it was in no way healthy.

be weird

I’m not positive what it was but one day it just clicked and suddenly I understood what I needed to do, what I wanted to do, and how to get there.  It may not work for you, but it may help you on the way to your own personal clarity.  I finally realized and accepted that I can’t change the way people think, feel, or act, but I CAN change all those things about me.  Instead of looking at everything in my life under a microscope and analyzing it I decided that everything I have ever done lead me to the point I’m at; a point that I’m not exactly happy with but at the same time could be much worse.  I have a roof over my head, a job that doesn’t totally suck, friends whom I love dearly, an amazing family, and hope.  I hold on to hope with every essence of my being.  I truly believe that I will get exactly where I want in life simply because I want to.  The truth is that nobody else will get me where I want to be, I have to rely on myself and guess what?  I’m pretty frickin reliable!

first step

Sure, life sucks sometimes, but when I get in that state of mind I just laugh it off and remember that life happens.  All around us.  Every day.  Every moment, every memory, every experience is ours to keep.  And we get to decide what we do and how we do it and what we take from it.  We can take all the bad or we can take the good.  Being broken up with sucks.  Especially when you know they have gone back to someone else or are still in love with someone else.  You tell yourself you aren’t good enough.  You spend hours every day trying to figure out why that person is better than you when you KNOW they aren’t, when the person even told you that you were better!  But you can’t change them.  You can only change yourself.  You can know that they missed out.  Cry.  Scream.  Be angry.  But don’t hate yourself.  Because it isn’t you and you will never understand.  You won’t understand because it doesn’t make sense.  It just doesn’t.  Love doesn’t come with rationale.  Love is passion and stupidity and intuition.  There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  At some point though, you have to realize that you will be okay.  You will!  Your heart is broken, true.  But it will heal.  And that scar will be there to remind you that you hit bottom and clawed your way back to the top crying and broken and in pain and unsure.  But you did it, and you can do it again.  The best part?  You have all those memories – the good and the bad – to remember forever.  The bad you will learn from, the good you will smile from, and together they will continue to build you and mold you and create you.  I always told myself that I wasn’t good enough.  I always fell into that trap.  But I am good enough.  I’m perfect, in fact.  Perfectly imperfect because I’m me and I make no excuses for it.  Nor should you because you are also perfect in all your imperfections.


Every day is something new to look forward to.  You get to wake up and live however the hell you want to.  This morning I was down and struggling because of my inability to help out my friends; nothing I do or say seems to make them see anything in a positive light.  But then I realized that all I can do is continue to be there for them, continue to shed that positive light on every damn thing, remind them that they are amazing and I am lucky to have them in my life and everybody else should feel lucky too.  I can’t fix them, but I can be there for them every time they fall.  And that goes for everyone out there – if you are the one hurting or if you are the one helping a friend out, always know that someone out there has been through it and someone out there wants to help.  Whatever you can do is good enough.  Right now I can’t do as much as I would like because, as I said earlier, I have given a little too much and neglected myself.  I am grumpy and easily angered.  However I have realized this and decided that this weekend I will go on a small trip (more on that in another post) just for me so I can recharge, refocus, and come back ready to face any problem that comes at me or my friends.


If you are stuck in a rut, unhappy, depressed, confused, hurt, or anything other than happy take a moment to reflect on what happened to get you where you are today.  Was life shitty?  Is life still shitty?  Every day come up with one reason to smile.  Mine is generally excessive amounts of coffee because no matter what I can rely on there being coffee somewhere.  (Seriously, you have to start with the little things.)  If you are mending a broken heart, start off telling yourself that you aren’t done forever, simply that now wasn’t ya’lls time.  That one day you will be together again.  It may or may not be true, you honestly don’t know, so why not believe that it will happen?  That’s how I got over HIM.  I started by believing that one day we would find each other again, and eventually rationality stepped in and I realized that HE wasn’t my one, but that meant my one was still out there and if that isn’t a happy thought then I don’t know what is!

living and shit

Smile because you get to decide.  Smile because you aren’t alone.  Smile because you have friends.  Smile because you are alive.  Smile because…it confuses people.  Just start with a smile.  Then you can move on to turning one negative into a positive every day.  I started out small and am now able to do it with everything while at the same time annoying the shit out of my friends with my unstoppable positivity!  Soon I will have rainbows coming out of my ass.  It’ll be beautiful!

simple things

Anyway, I will leave you with a few things to remember:

The thing about goodbyes is that it’s the beginning of a new hello.  

Broken hearts mend and become stronger.  

Scars are there to remind us of what we’ve been through and what we can handle.

A smile can fix your day.

Positive thoughts help not only you but the people around you.

Life is beautiful.  Live it.  Enjoy it.  Love it.  Because you only have this one, so why not make it great?

And, as usual, I have to sign off with something completely insane even though this was mostly a serious post…May your days be filled with syrup chugging contests and buckets full of water, glue, and glitter filled water balloons to throw at those particularly annoying people you may encounter.  Remember to always sing in the bathroom, never let anyone see it was you who emptied the coffee pot, and keep glitter handy to throw at people – water balloon or not.


p.s. These photos came from another blogger I discovered via Facebook.  You should check her out:  A.D.D. Music Mamma

Little Rubber Band Ball

Today is my second to last day at this particular temp job and I have next to nothing to do so I decided my time would be well spend writing. It makes sense…I promise.  (Generally I am so bored I am afraid that someone will slap a SKU number on me and haul me to the local lumber yard.  If they do I hope I get put with the MDF…I would make a fucking wicked bookshelf.  I’d organize the shit out of those books!  And scare the owners.)

See, normally, I would have a ton to do but Tuesday they decided to inform me that something I had been spending hours doing every day did not in fact need to be done. Mind you, on day THREE of the job I sat with someone who showed me how to do exactly what I had been doing.  I even still have the notes written on my notepad in my desk and yet…This is week eight…at what point did they notice this? And why did they take so long to tell me? I was glad for the work because opening and sorting the mail does not take eight hours every day. Nor does looking up the loan numbers from all the bills. And somehow they are always impressed at how quickly I get it done. I open and sort my mail at home too, it ain’t rocket science!

Since I have next to nothing to do until my supervisor gets in (which isn’t until 9 and I get here at 7) I decided to spend my time very wisely. By making a rubber band ball. Every day the mail comes wrapped in rubber bands so I have been collecting them in my drawer…

For these eight weeks I have been dying to make a ball, so now is the time!

7:40 am


The larger it gets the more difficult it becomes to hide it. If anybody asks why/how I have a rubber band ball on my desk I will have to come up with something. Like…”I left them in the drawer and when I came in this morning they had formed a ball. Maybe they are like the Avengers…’Rubber Bands, Assemble!’ I dunno. Shit happens…”

Do you think they would buy it?

8:30 am


I do a little work, open a few envelopes, then tell myself that I will only wrap a few rubber bands….it is always more than a few. Can I make this my job? Cause I am having way more fun doing this.

9:20 am The finished product:


I realize that they probably all look the same size, but it did grow, I swear!  I named it Chuck, as in, “Bitch, I will chuck this at you if you suggest I start answering phones in the Customer Service Center one more time!”  Honestly, they would regret it.  I am good at customer service…on a good day.  But I know absolutely nothing about mortgages or loans and having me answer the phone would end up with a lot of transferred calls and frustration – mostly on the part of everyone else who had to take my fielded calls because I would be having fun playing with Chuck and counting down the hours until I was out of there for good.

The people there aren’t bad or anything, it just isn’t my sort of atmosphere.  I mean, I heard someone laugh today and the first thought that popped into my head was, “Goddamnit!  I am so tired of hearing people laugh!”  I was immediately reminded of Vicky (icky with a V) from Fairly Odd Parents – “I HEAR HAPPY!”  It was at that moment that I realized I was grouchy.  Call me Oscar and put me in a trash can.  I hate everyone.  Or at least I did right then. And I don’t like feeling like that because I am naturally (much to my dismay) a nice, somewhat happy, loving person.  I often try to pretend that I am tough and bitchy but that only comes out every once in awhile, like when some drunk skank keeps bumping into me at a bar and nobody she is with is doing anything stop her.  That ho almost went down…if only Mr. Perfect hadn’t stopped me.  Such an asshole.

5:00 pm

I am now at home, playing with Chuck and knocking things down on my desk when he goes rogue.  Maybe he is more of a Transformer than an Avenger, only time will tell.  BUT! I have only one more day at that white walled hell and then I get to house/pet sit for a week.  I am so incredibly excited about this, you have no idea.  Lots of writing and job hunting will be done and…I may or may not relate it all to you.  Even though I doubt you care.  I WILL MAKE YOU CARE!!!  I’m going to make you snort mac and cheese out of your nose.  And freaking like it.

In the mean time I hope your next few days are filled with moonwalking cars, black…, bomb ass mustache sitings, and liquor filled piñatas.


Freebirds, Moonwalks, Mustaches, and Alcohol. Now that’s a good weekend.

When I got home from work this afternoon I made myself a small bowl of cereal and my dad asked me, “cereal time?  Did you not eat lunch?”  I told him that I had brought some chicken but didn’t eat it…at least not all of it (I never rarely eat lunch).  What followed made me laugh a little on the inside because it is something I had been thinking about at work earlier.  He asked if I had kept it refrigerated and, when I inquired as to why he asked he said because it could cause bacteria to grow if kept warm.  Now, this isn’t exactly an abnormal conversation, in fact I’m sure many people worry about food bacteria, but this afternoon I was reminded of a snippet of conversation I overheard in the office a few weeks back so it makes this somewhat amusing.  Someone there asked at large if anyone wanted the other half of her blueberry muffin and one man’s response was, “I haven’t had my flu shot.”  (I can’t make this shit up, people.  That was his response.)  After that a conversation began among everyone about the flu and the flu shot and who has it, who had it, and who doesn’t want to get it; it was then that I tuned them out since the only time I ever get shots is when  forced by an institution – not because of my irrational fear of needles, but because I don’t believe in sickness.  I just don’t.  I think it’s all in our heads.  When I DO feel like something may be attacking me I seek out homeopathic remedies like honey, and tea!

Anyway, back on point!  For some reason, after I was reminded of this conversation I wondered if anybody else ever left food out on purpose to test the whole, “could get sick” theory.  Because I do.  A lot.  And I never get sick.  Never even get an upset tummy.  I’m not quite positive why I do this, but I think it has to do with the fact that I haven’t ever gotten severely sick before – both the flu and chicken pox were kind enough to stay out of my life, too  – and it is almost as though I want to test myself.  Maybe I still have the delusion that I’m somehow invincible.  Inside AND out!  Honestly, this just furthers my plea of psychosis.

But this is where my mind wanders when I am bored at work.  I spent all day opening mail.  Well…almost all day.  About twenty of those minutes were spent stuffing and addressing envelopes, but if my days were recorded and you rewound that part it would still look like I was opening that little stack of mail!  That would be interesting…if you watched the whole day backwards it would look like I spend my day taking papers from a stack, deftly folding them, and stuffing them into an envelope before stacking them in another nice, neat, pile…that I would then un-organize and put into lots of small, messy piles.  Backward or forward it is still a boring job that provides me more hours in Saraville than should be allowed.

Speaking of going in reverse though, yesterday the FedEx guy tried to run into my car…kind of.  As he was walking to the door to drop off a package his truck began to roll back, he dropped the package, ran, and jumped back into the truck.  I’m not quite sure how close he came to Jorma but I was not happy either way.  But then again, maybe it had nothing to do with him.  Maybe he HAD put it in park and put on the break but the truck decided to moon walk.  Because that’s what vehicles do when they are going backwards.  Mr. Perfect pointed this out to me a few weeks ago when I was confused by a truck driving backwards through a parking lot and now every time I see someone back up that is what pops into my head.  And now it will pop into your head.  Heh!

I know I said that this weekend wasn’t this eventful but I forgot to mention the part where Mr. Perfect attempted to eat an entire Super Monster burrito from Freebirds.  Have you seen these things?  They are HUGE!  It is the largest one they have (on the menu) and it involves two very ginormous tortillas and practically all the contents of the food bar rolled into one scrumptious meal.  It also happens to be the size of Mr. Perfect’s forearm.


I figured he would easily be able to finish this sucker because…well…I’ve seen him eat.  Kid can put it away!  But!  This proved just too much even for him.


He only got 2/3 of the way through it but, sadly, he finished more of his than I did of mine.  I probably should have taken a picture of mine but it was about 1/4 the size of his…and then I rubbed the food coma he was suffering from in his face by eating coffee ice cream.  I’m also fairly sure there was beer involved but I doubt he abstained from that.  I know it was only a few days ago but it already feels like forevers ago because that’s how weekday time works.  It lasts longer than weekend time, in case you were wondering.

When I hang out with Mr. Perfect our weekends seem to be filled with food, booze, coffee, Netflix, and dog parks all interspersed with randomness and stupid jokes.  We are both addicted to caffeine so post morning dog park runs are usually followed by coffee and he almost always gets super bitter coffee that he complains about while continuing to drink it.  Because that’s what you do!  You know you have done it several times, don’t even pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about.  Mostly only with caffeine or alcohol though since neither of those should go to waste.  Ever.  I don’t care how bad it is, ya drink it.  The highlight of the Starbucks run this time though was the guy at the drive through.  This guy had a mustache for reals.  We liked him before we pulled up to the window because he said “yea-yuh” when Mr. Perfect said his version of a “thank you,” but once the mustache came into play it was love.  This fucker was bomb ass.  It was like a mini-handlebar mustache but awesomer.  I wanted to be this guys friend.  I came this close to jumping through the window and paparazzi-ing his ass.  Fortunately I was in the passenger seat and that just would have been awkward.  Or amazing.  One of the two.

I have been writing for far too long now and I still have more to say, so, really, that means I should have stopped quite awhile ago.  It is only Tuesday and feels like it should be Thursday so may your week be filled with stress reducing piñata’s full of liquor and money.  <–I always come up with these endings last minute and that actually sounds like a really fantastic idea, so, who wants to help me make one of these?!?  I’m thinking dollar bills and those pocket shots.  And glitter.  Inside a unicorn.



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